Translation Fail

If you're like me, when you watched Disney's newest movie Tangled, you thought to yourself "I must have one of those flying wish lanterns!"  So for Christmas, my boyfriend ordered some from China.  They are super awesome!  They're just big, white, paper balloons that look like a weird condoms with wires to hold the square-of-flammable-substance in place.  Before you light it up, you can write your wishes (or draw random cartoons of your cats) on the lantern so that the wish gods in the sky will read it and hopefully smile upon your pathetic human soul. 
But equally as entertaining was the packaging.  The lantern was neatly folded up in this plastic wrapping with Chinese symbols written all over it.  On closer look, we saw there was English translation underneath the Chinese.  To our amusement, the translation was REALLY bad...as follows....

Wishing Light
Wishing light operating instructions
1. After the distribution of fuel to packaging equipment Kong Cross wire in the side of the field again deduction presses.  The fuel-pressure lock firmly.
2. A person wishing light take up a Top; Another person fuel ignited the four angle.
3. Make sure the heat enough light, lanterns person lest loose top hand, changes grips under the light to encircle, Has when the lifting force may let go releases for flying.
4. Wishing light rose slowly the sky, do not forget Wishing oh...........

Notice item:
1. Should choose at the option open, calm environment released for flight.  No fire bans in areas, the tall building the floor, and so on have covers under the thing released for flight, must leave outside the airport 10 kilometers from flying.
2. Wishing light can only be used for the distribution the special-purposeof fuel, prohibited by any burning Replace.
3. Wishing light are on the rise, that of the flying, cannot the long time put, and the Flight not be append the foreign body.
4. Children must be under the eustody of the adults use. 

Declaration: Wishing light for the flying, because of environmental ingredient such as improper use of security incidents caused by the release of the commitment.  Production enterprises, vendors, transport operators, without any responcilibity.  You use both, then you understand and accept on behalf of the declaration. 


That's exactly how its printed on the packaging.  Hilarious, no?  So we've learned that Chinese does not translate into English well.  That's ok though because flying our wish lantern was awesome!  In fact, I filmed it :)  This was filmed with my shitty phone camera so the quality isn't great (and I was pretty drunk at the time).